Another Crappy Day

I am feeling confused and somewhat low as thing as are not going according to plan. I loathe having to turn to the alternatives as they are sure as hell not as appealing.

Spirit is down but I will keep forging…feeling fruss!!! I need spiritual nourishment right now. DAMN!!!

Hate Exams:(

Feeling so under the weather...real crappy...need alcohol to soothe the nerves...damn.

Good thing is that it will all be over soon.

Damn SHAG!

Pressure is mounting during this hectic period of deadlines and exams.
Good news is that, the final lap is now on and it will all soon be over:)

Knackered.....

Feeling tired and stretched...so many assignments and projects due...got to press on. It is after all a test, a trial from which the results will yield greater horizons, far away from mediocrity. Australia represents that very much and in order for me not to entwine my fate with this far tucked away continent, I must prevail above the average norm.

When the going is tough, the tough gets going...

A hazy but fruitful thot

Time flies and in slightly over a month, I will complete my masters here in Oz. It has been a rejuvenating experience for me as it has enabled me to destroy a seemingly indelible laceration on my psyche. I will not spell out what it is for it will in no doubt risk me bringing the pain back.

In a somewhat uncanny way, ANU’s motto is “to learn the nature of things” and that was exactly what happened. I have learnt and undone what was in essence a self-inflicted pain. God was there all the way to help me avert disaster and I thank Him for His healing hand.

Can’t wait to wrap up my masters here in Oz and head home :)

The path ahead

Today culminates a rather relaxed week...somewhat like an eye on an impending storm. The weeks ahead will be tough because of the various deadlines. Nevertheless, there is something in the air that makes things feel positive. It is as though a huge weight has been lifted off my back and I am now ready to forge my future. It’s refreshing and yet there’s a tinge of fear because of the uncertainty ahead.

I have not felt this positive for a long time to come but to ride on this wave of optimism has its perils becos I know all too well the pitfalls that lie ahead. Being a realist has its merits for the medium to long term. To put it succinctly, the future is kinda hanging on a thread but the feeling of optimism is strong enough to make one feel as though it will be ok somehow. It’s like having to climb Mount Everest but sensing that somehow the unknown will be kind to you. It’s a stab in the dark but you know deep within that it is right and the path you tread is meant to be.

Listening to Jazz really relaxes the soul...Jazz FM.com makes me reminisce my time in England and suffice to say, it soothes all anxieties and past harrowing experiences. Think I may visit the UK again next year as opposed to going to US which I have originally planned. We will know in good time. I have sat on the fence long enough without having to make any steering decisions. I am lucky to not fall off into a black hole. Having said that, it’s crunch time and decisions have to be made and adhered to. There is only so much time one has on earth.

Moment of Revelation

All of a sudden, during moments of self-reflection and taking stock of oneself, a eureka moment just pops up and you can’t help but grin to yourself at the revelation. Have finally managed to put my finger on a harrowing past experience into a palatable piece of information. I have perceived the painful journey I went thru as a form of therapy to avert a more painful fate. It is akin to undergoing chemo- or radiotherapy to rid yourself of cancer. Furthermore, I have gotten hard evidence of this “cancer” that I was blessed to be able to “cure” myself of.

It is really similar to the story I once heard in church about a man who accidentally lost his toe in a shooting encounter. He continuously blamed the person who shot his toe off on that fateful hunting trip. One day, he was caught by a cannibalistic tribe while trekking and was about to be offered as a human sacrifice to their deity. He was saved by the bell when one of the cannibals realised he was “incomplete” because of the missing toe. He was thus released and allowed to go free. From that day on, he thanked the person who shot his toe as it had inadvertently saved his life.

What I had gone thru is pretty much the same in essence. They say God only gives you what you can handle, never something you can’t because He knows you better than you know yourself. I am beginning to see the truth in this statement and am willing to bear testimony to it should I be called to. I feel as though I have been redeemed from wretchedness.....I now have the more painstaking task of redeeming myself and set things right. I wanna hit the goals I set myself in 5 years from 2011. I pray that fate will be with me in my endeavours.

Feeling a little exhausted...

It has been a long time since I uploaded an entry...time flies and we are already in Sep. There are some persistent issues that still swirl my mind. I am at a loss of how to resolve them other than to let them be and hopefully time will allow a clearer perception of the horizon. I have realised that there are many things contingent on me making it and giving back to those who have invested good faith in me.

Sometimes when the going is tough, I feel like giving up and I think of these contingencies...I have to go on even if it means striving to my last breath. Lincoln stayed the course and united the nation only to have his life cut short at the end of the Civil War. I have to emulate that example for me to have any dreams of redemption.

I pray fate will be with me on this final leg of the quest.

Monday again

What a day…mundane and dull…a drag in essence but that’s Monday most of the time. The weekend flew by and I really enjoyed the movie “It’s Complicated”. It was both hilarious and sensationally thought-provoking, well at least for me. I pondered over the nuances of the whimsical portrayals of Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin…succinct and spot-on if examined carefully though.

SG Casinos

A first entry in a brand new year… 2010 remains a hopeful but uncertain year in most people’s minds…personally I hope the year bodes well for Asia in general, SG in particular. On the entertainment and tourism front, there a couple of exciting events cropping up. Come 20 Jan and Sentosa has a new attraction and 3 new hotels.

This will offer an inkling into the world of glitz and bling! SG will certainly become more vibrant and exciting in the coming months and years. Whether or not, this will translate to greater tourism revenue, remains to be seen. SG will many entertainment and retail venues which can definitely be supported by the surge in population, especially by migrant workers. Overall the model appears feasible and maybe in time to come SG will be better off than without these new amenities.

Reflection.....

Xmas is closing in and somehow here in SG, there ain no white xmas nor fire place to bask beside...but you have the warmth of family and friends. Datz impt! So count yr blessings:)

Xmas marks the end of a year, I always look back at the year gone by at this time. Taking account of the recession, I must say I was rather lucky. Being able to go to a few places, particularly emerging economies at company's expense. I must say that the notion of 21st century being the Asian century is certainly more truth than myth. In addition, I went back to the UK (aft 5 long yrs... hehehe)...London & BIRMINGHAM! It's good to know that some things don't change much, the UK being 1 of them. I really missed my days as a student in the UK...time really flies and it's almost the end of 2009.

Come 2010, it's time to take to the skies again. I hope that this time round, the opportunity can allow me to catch up on lost time over the past 5 years. Really hope so.

TEA Time :)

Singapore has certainly become a teatime capital of ASEAN if anything…the variety of delicacies available for one to munch during the afternoon has certainly increased exponentially. Judging by the photos, one is really spoiled for choice in the new malls in Orchard. The thing is they aren’t cheap but the queue to get in one of these exquisite joints is unbelievably long!!!

These being a national past-time in addition to the usual fare of food courts, movies and shopping is all but certain. Of the many tea places out there, TWG is by far the most ATAS one! The exclusivity is also emphasized here bearing in mind the long queue and the small sitting area in the boutique. YES, it’s called a boutique, can you believe it?! It’s almost like shopping for a LV or Prada accessory. Absolutely decadent but GOOD!

I am so loving this metamorphosis in SG culture:)

What a day...

Sometimes you just feel so lucky to be given a second chance in life. That is exactly what I am feeling right now. I feel so blessed by those around me that I know I must return these blessings I am getting. Perhaps even the Lord is showering His love for me. Why is it always only at ‘completion’ do we see God’s grand design of things? Why do we always take things for granted until they are taken away from us? What I know for certain is that when I have accomplished what I have always yearned for, I must return the favours even if it means eking out in a profession that is not to my liking. Got to do what’s right even if it means forsaking my dreams.

It feels like I have awakened from a long dream only to realise that people around me have been holding up all the balls. What a mixed feeling of jubilation and succinct realisation of what I have to do. Such is life, a journey where one is enlightened along the way as we age with time…kinda like a bottle of fine wine=)

Feeling Good from Top 2 Toe!

It’s another eventful day where much is accomplished. Submitted my documents for my Masters application, secured the tennancy for the clinic premises and managed to secure a hope for the imminent future. Today is definitely a lot brighter than most days I have encountered. Hence, can’t help but put a smile on my face =]

There are so many things I wanna rectify in my life and I really have to begin doing so. Ok,let’s lighten and brighten up. Just read that Singapore is going to have a new mall in the Marina Bay area and am wondering can Singapore’s population really support so many malls? Already there is ION, Suntec, Vivo, Paragon and Taka, not to mention the numerous suburban malls. Looks like SG is becoming a mall-centric society in time to come. This might not prove a bad idea considering the scorching and unbearable weather. Whatever it is, I choose to look on the optimistic side and hope things will turn out well.

Feeling Enlightened and Free!!!

Think that I have to begin learning to savour the simpler things in life as I go along and be happy. Ultimately everyone wants to be happy and what differs is the way which individuals go about doing it. This fact been acutely pointed out to me recently and it makes so much sense. Perhaps life isn’t that hard a game as I had previously envisioned. I have gone off tangent to the goals I want to attain in life. Though I have not mentally shifted the goal, I am physically further from it than I can possibly be.

But all is not lost, thanks to Providence and the people around me. I must embark on steps to close this gap and be mindful that life though wonderful at times remain a finite experience on all counts. Must maintain on course to finish the goal on a triumphant note =)