I am feeling confused and somewhat low as thing as are not going according to plan. I loathe having to turn to the alternatives as they are sure as hell not as appealing.
Spirit is down but I will keep forging…feeling fruss!!! I need spiritual nourishment right now. DAMN!!!
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Hate Exams:(
Feeling so under the weather...real crappy...need alcohol to soothe the nerves...damn.
Good thing is that it will all be over soon.
Good thing is that it will all be over soon.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Damn SHAG!
Pressure is mounting during this hectic period of deadlines and exams.
Good news is that, the final lap is now on and it will all soon be over:)
Good news is that, the final lap is now on and it will all soon be over:)
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Knackered.....
Feeling tired and stretched...so many assignments and projects due...got to press on. It is after all a test, a trial from which the results will yield greater horizons, far away from mediocrity. Australia represents that very much and in order for me not to entwine my fate with this far tucked away continent, I must prevail above the average norm.
When the going is tough, the tough gets going...
When the going is tough, the tough gets going...
Sunday, October 3, 2010
A hazy but fruitful thot
Time flies and in slightly over a month, I will complete my masters here in Oz. It has been a rejuvenating experience for me as it has enabled me to destroy a seemingly indelible laceration on my psyche. I will not spell out what it is for it will in no doubt risk me bringing the pain back.
In a somewhat uncanny way, ANU’s motto is “to learn the nature of things” and that was exactly what happened. I have learnt and undone what was in essence a self-inflicted pain. God was there all the way to help me avert disaster and I thank Him for His healing hand.
Can’t wait to wrap up my masters here in Oz and head home :)
In a somewhat uncanny way, ANU’s motto is “to learn the nature of things” and that was exactly what happened. I have learnt and undone what was in essence a self-inflicted pain. God was there all the way to help me avert disaster and I thank Him for His healing hand.
Can’t wait to wrap up my masters here in Oz and head home :)
Friday, September 10, 2010
The path ahead
Today culminates a rather relaxed week...somewhat like an eye on an impending storm. The weeks ahead will be tough because of the various deadlines. Nevertheless, there is something in the air that makes things feel positive. It is as though a huge weight has been lifted off my back and I am now ready to forge my future. It’s refreshing and yet there’s a tinge of fear because of the uncertainty ahead.
I have not felt this positive for a long time to come but to ride on this wave of optimism has its perils becos I know all too well the pitfalls that lie ahead. Being a realist has its merits for the medium to long term. To put it succinctly, the future is kinda hanging on a thread but the feeling of optimism is strong enough to make one feel as though it will be ok somehow. It’s like having to climb Mount Everest but sensing that somehow the unknown will be kind to you. It’s a stab in the dark but you know deep within that it is right and the path you tread is meant to be.
Listening to Jazz really relaxes the soul...Jazz FM.com makes me reminisce my time in England and suffice to say, it soothes all anxieties and past harrowing experiences. Think I may visit the UK again next year as opposed to going to US which I have originally planned. We will know in good time. I have sat on the fence long enough without having to make any steering decisions. I am lucky to not fall off into a black hole. Having said that, it’s crunch time and decisions have to be made and adhered to. There is only so much time one has on earth.
I have not felt this positive for a long time to come but to ride on this wave of optimism has its perils becos I know all too well the pitfalls that lie ahead. Being a realist has its merits for the medium to long term. To put it succinctly, the future is kinda hanging on a thread but the feeling of optimism is strong enough to make one feel as though it will be ok somehow. It’s like having to climb Mount Everest but sensing that somehow the unknown will be kind to you. It’s a stab in the dark but you know deep within that it is right and the path you tread is meant to be.
Listening to Jazz really relaxes the soul...Jazz FM.com makes me reminisce my time in England and suffice to say, it soothes all anxieties and past harrowing experiences. Think I may visit the UK again next year as opposed to going to US which I have originally planned. We will know in good time. I have sat on the fence long enough without having to make any steering decisions. I am lucky to not fall off into a black hole. Having said that, it’s crunch time and decisions have to be made and adhered to. There is only so much time one has on earth.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Moment of Revelation
All of a sudden, during moments of self-reflection and taking stock of oneself, a eureka moment just pops up and you can’t help but grin to yourself at the revelation. Have finally managed to put my finger on a harrowing past experience into a palatable piece of information. I have perceived the painful journey I went thru as a form of therapy to avert a more painful fate. It is akin to undergoing chemo- or radiotherapy to rid yourself of cancer. Furthermore, I have gotten hard evidence of this “cancer” that I was blessed to be able to “cure” myself of.
It is really similar to the story I once heard in church about a man who accidentally lost his toe in a shooting encounter. He continuously blamed the person who shot his toe off on that fateful hunting trip. One day, he was caught by a cannibalistic tribe while trekking and was about to be offered as a human sacrifice to their deity. He was saved by the bell when one of the cannibals realised he was “incomplete” because of the missing toe. He was thus released and allowed to go free. From that day on, he thanked the person who shot his toe as it had inadvertently saved his life.
What I had gone thru is pretty much the same in essence. They say God only gives you what you can handle, never something you can’t because He knows you better than you know yourself. I am beginning to see the truth in this statement and am willing to bear testimony to it should I be called to. I feel as though I have been redeemed from wretchedness.....I now have the more painstaking task of redeeming myself and set things right. I wanna hit the goals I set myself in 5 years from 2011. I pray that fate will be with me in my endeavours.
It is really similar to the story I once heard in church about a man who accidentally lost his toe in a shooting encounter. He continuously blamed the person who shot his toe off on that fateful hunting trip. One day, he was caught by a cannibalistic tribe while trekking and was about to be offered as a human sacrifice to their deity. He was saved by the bell when one of the cannibals realised he was “incomplete” because of the missing toe. He was thus released and allowed to go free. From that day on, he thanked the person who shot his toe as it had inadvertently saved his life.
What I had gone thru is pretty much the same in essence. They say God only gives you what you can handle, never something you can’t because He knows you better than you know yourself. I am beginning to see the truth in this statement and am willing to bear testimony to it should I be called to. I feel as though I have been redeemed from wretchedness.....I now have the more painstaking task of redeeming myself and set things right. I wanna hit the goals I set myself in 5 years from 2011. I pray that fate will be with me in my endeavours.
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